4 months and i'm still sober.

Seeing you happy with another girl is heartrending to me, before. I have come to a sense that we were never really real thing so i guess it's is probably be a waste of time for me to cringe around and being pathetically sad over something that shouldnt even bothering me. I'ts just had me wondering that how is everything isnt bothering you, not even a slightest scratch on you but it gives a massive jet-crushing feeling to me. How do you do that? For everthing i have for you, and what you give in return for almost a year + is all gone just like that. It's the funniest joke in this case and i would gladly want laugh this all off right infront of your face.

I guess i'm a coward for not wanting to see you anymore but i guess it's what i should do right? You're with someone else and you still want me sometimes, yes sometimes and i know i shouldnt even bother to showed up to your sick need of wanting me only for sometimes. You're an ass for that. AN ASS.

I still think of you sometimes, You're making me all dark and twisted when I was all on you, and i don't want that. Be dark and twisty with her, don't look for me anymore. That is all i ask of you :)

Alhamdulillah, i am all good now.
I just i miss you as the sickest friend that puts up the sickest joke just to make me laugh, S.

Is it possible

to have Alzheimer at the age of twenty-one? Yeah i know i've consumed way way with too much Grey's Anatomy within these three months of holidays. It's my imaginary surgeon side is talking and it's funny but yeah, i am that forgetful and I am having big big time having a massive grudge for myself on this.

I forgot the most simplest thing as in where i put my car keys, what's my email address and stuff like that. Just by watching Meredith and Derek and her momy-Alzheimer issue is already frightening and just sad. I wouldnt want anything close to that happens to me. Yes its my paranoia side is talking.

I'm just kind of sort off wondering how things would be for me on 10 years to come. My mind is cruel and yeah back to my question above..

Is it possible to detect an early stage of Alzheimer at the age of twenty one?