4 months and i'm still sober.

Seeing you happy with another girl is heartrending to me, before. I have come to a sense that we were never really real thing so i guess it's is probably be a waste of time for me to cringe around and being pathetically sad over something that shouldnt even bothering me. I'ts just had me wondering that how is everything isnt bothering you, not even a slightest scratch on you but it gives a massive jet-crushing feeling to me. How do you do that? For everthing i have for you, and what you give in return for almost a year + is all gone just like that. It's the funniest joke in this case and i would gladly want laugh this all off right infront of your face.

I guess i'm a coward for not wanting to see you anymore but i guess it's what i should do right? You're with someone else and you still want me sometimes, yes sometimes and i know i shouldnt even bother to showed up to your sick need of wanting me only for sometimes. You're an ass for that. AN ASS.

I still think of you sometimes, You're making me all dark and twisted when I was all on you, and i don't want that. Be dark and twisty with her, don't look for me anymore. That is all i ask of you :)

Alhamdulillah, i am all good now.
I just i miss you as the sickest friend that puts up the sickest joke just to make me laugh, S.

Is it possible

to have Alzheimer at the age of twenty-one? Yeah i know i've consumed way way with too much Grey's Anatomy within these three months of holidays. It's my imaginary surgeon side is talking and it's funny but yeah, i am that forgetful and I am having big big time having a massive grudge for myself on this.

I forgot the most simplest thing as in where i put my car keys, what's my email address and stuff like that. Just by watching Meredith and Derek and her momy-Alzheimer issue is already frightening and just sad. I wouldnt want anything close to that happens to me. Yes its my paranoia side is talking.

I'm just kind of sort off wondering how things would be for me on 10 years to come. My mind is cruel and yeah back to my question above..

Is it possible to detect an early stage of Alzheimer at the age of twenty one?

How long does it take to mend a broken heart?

I wonder how some heart could heal really fast as if it was never really broken at the first place..and if there really a harmless spell for me regarding this matters, please do just let me know. :-)

Call me pathetic but i heal the longest when it comes to stuffs like this..it's a viscous cycle that whenever i'm trying to forget some things, it came back to me over and over again. Like a stupid boomerang, my memory is cruel. It' haunts me in actually, hard to let go off. The memories and what it does to me, it affects me so much that i've never been this mentally, physically and emotionally injured in my whole life before and i'd like to be okay again.

Honestly saying that i've never really been into a "declared" relationship. My first one was when i was 15 and it was on and off for about a year. Ended for some reason and it took me quite a while to really let someone new in. Though it's puppy love i can see right now, it makes you who you are today so yeah. 6 damn years to finally let someone new in, to move on. And i'm wondering how this one would take this time. And he gives me a huge impact to be frankly honest..it hurts so much to all what he did to me. No words can really best describe this feeling i'm having.

Fooling yourselves by saying yes to few dates with someone new won't help. That's for sure, it'll only hurt that few particular people that they are hoping for things that you couldnt afford to give, which is your attention, and heart. So maybe all you need is a time alone, away from all of that. All i know it hurts so much that it's really hard to feel anymore.

Regardless of what happened in life, it's just storm come crashing you and it's going to make you stronger than yesterday. Although the pain that struck you is unbearable there's always a way for it, all i know is time and God is gonna lead you along the way.

I'm just curious how long it's gonna take to heal mine this time, we'll just see :-)

Farewel Diana!

Just another night out WITH PICTURES with my babies. Akim always bought his dslr around whenever there's an outing so yeah, looking through these pictures make me miss them even more though holidays have only started for roughly not more than a week. Well this is not really a night out but just to send Diana off to the airport. My favorite part of the day besides having to be all crazy and silly with them and the Famous Amos that they bought for me is that they actually fetched me from home! I hate to drive THAT much if you know me well enough. So yeah any outing that requires my presence, you know what you should do. Lol kidding. i guess i've been talking and typing so much and it's time for pictures :-)

Yeah we look decent on these shots i've uploaded..you should be there to see how idiotically crazy we were when we actually met. And it looks as if Azlie, Pat and I who is leaving KK since it's us who looks extremely "excited" on the departure lane. Well that's just us being us and nothing can ever change that. See you guys at September..which happened to be our semester 3. Take care!! =)

Cinta tiga segi.

Dear S,

My saddest, lost and broken being is missing you terribly. Be happy with her, that is all i ask of you.

Gold rush.

I've learned that true friendship continues to grow, Even over the longest distance :)

Goodbye freshmen year.

Semester two had been really chaotic, well maybe it's just to me since i've been "devoting" myself with some unnecessary crap that it distracts & injures me physically, mentally and even emotionally badly so I decided to leave it all behind when all i know is can barely survive anymore knowing the fact that it's heartrending to still holding on. It leads me to nowhere...and more to the darker side i can see which is not really what i want to see myself in the next 5 years. It's already too late when i realized that i should actually let go. Should've realised it sooner, so yeah whatever come crashing me i just have to deal and face it. It'll be ugly, that's for sure. Just bring it on :-)

So yeah, a change for a start. They say you are what you attract..so i'm gonna look "decent" so decent things will make it's way to me. Decent things as in good company, good result, good opportunities, good guy and so on. Har har :P

Black hair for a start.. say hi.

Will blog more for this 3 months of semester break, so yeah. Wait for it :P

4th summer after highschool.

 

Pictures speak it all. We had gazillions of fun so yeah that is all that matters. Can't wait for our next shopping trip to Bukit Bintang and Singapore!! :D I know I've been saying this on every post that is related to my girlfriends but yeah, I love you guys so damn much. :D

Caramel.

 Late night heart to heart talk, midnight dose of laughter, bloating-our-tummy session, hugging just to feel fine.. although we're 21, we can always take a U-turn back to basics and did the 12 years old thing which is a sleepover. Instead of a night out, this is what I prefer to have :) I am glad that I can always go to these people :)

Day 1 : The person you like and why you like them.

Crushed, shaterred, broken and healing. I barely like anyone right now. Dare to fix me, anyone? :D

Highschool lovers.

Finally, the day came!  But really..finally this is the final and latest outing of the complete set of us all after few years =) There is always gonna be a missing members on our previous outing but I'm glad, we rocked the town that day. Had a pretty tiring but fun day of course with catching ups and being crazy and all..being us. I am glad that our friendship, it lasts until today. And we're planning on something big and different for our another outing..which happened to be on this saturday. Can't wait, can't wait! :D

 

 

XOXO, not your typical KK-town girl :P